As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
