Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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