i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
