Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
