just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
