Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
