This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
