sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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