ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
