i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
