lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
