Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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