is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
