Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
