i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize
