Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
