I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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