I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
