You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
