I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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