He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
