I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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