yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
