Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
