There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
