Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
