he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
