I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
