i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
