Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
