oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
