paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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