I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
