Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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