i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
