Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
