I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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