Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
