carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
