3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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