Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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