so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
