y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
