I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
