fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
