My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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