yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
