i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
