True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
