so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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