I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
